Bzzzzzzz. Bzzzzzzz.
Elana rolled over with a groan. It was still dark outside. Why did she always have to wake up when it was still dark? She squinted at the clock: 5:30. Of course they were calling at 5:30.
Bzzzzzzz. Bzzzzzzz.
The sound of her cell vibrating across her nightstand was remarkably similar to a jackhammer. She was not a morning person. But she needed to answer the phone.
Bzzzzzzz. Bzzzzzzz.
“Answer the phone, Elana,” she muttered to herself. But her arm wouldn’t obey. It was getting harder and harder to wake up every morning. She attributed it to so many things: her personality, late night calls with her boyfriend, laziness. But she knew what the real issue was. It was hard to get excited for work when she didn’t know what her job was going to be.
Elana willed a burst of energy into her arm and grabbed her cell just before it could roll over to voicemail. She wasn’t a huge fan of the upper grades, but she had promised herself a while back she would accept every job she got. She couldn’t help but smile when she heard the news: third grade. Awesome.
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“Miss Monroe, that’s not how we do it. Mrs. Lee always has us read first.”
Elana held in an exasperated sigh. If she had a dime for every time Madison had started a sentence with “Mrs. Lee always” that morning, she’d have way more dimes than anyone had any business carrying.
“Thank you, Madison, but today we’re going to work on these worksheets first. Would you like to help me hand them out?”
Madison seemed unsure of her sanity, but she accepted the task without a word. Elana rewarded her with her best teacher smile. It looked like it would be another long day of navigating the intricacies of her classroom management style versus that of their “real” teacher.
It’s not like it came as a surprise. As a substitute, Elana had come to expect that if students weren’t trying to get away with something, they were telling her what she was doing wrong. It was sometimes hard to tell where helpfulness stopped and disrespect began. She had already had to bite her tongue once to stop herself from saying, “Well, I’m not Mrs. Lee.”
* * *
“Who are you subbing for?”
Elana looked up from her sandwich to see a young woman with long, blonde hair and kind blue eyes looking down at her.
“Mind if I sit? I’m Anne.”
“Elana. Go ahead. I’m in third. Mrs. Lee.”
“Okay, great. I know some of those kids. I used to teach first grade. They were my first class, actually. How is it going?”
“All right. You know, the same.” Elana winced. She thought she saw a look pass over Anne’s face. She didn’t know this girl. She didn’t need to get into all of her insecurities and issues with her job. She cleared her throat and took another drink of water. “They’re good kids.”
“Yeah, but subbing…that’s tough. You been doing it long?”
Anne seemed genuinely interested, and she was definitely pleasant. That, and the fact that she looked about her age made Elana want to open up. She usually went into a school and got out, never really getting to know the other teachers.
“Since I graduated, about six months.”
“Oh, okay, what did you major in?”
“Liberal Arts, but I just finished my credential. It’s just…harder to get a job than I thought.”
Anne nodded knowingly. “Yeah, it’s rough these days. I’m sorry, I have a friend in your position. She’s having a pretty difficult time.”
“I really do like it, it’s just hard not knowing where you’re going to be every day, you know? It would be nice to get something a little more long-term.”
“Definitely, I know what you mean. Are you mainly going to be applying to this district for the fall?’
“I don’t know. Probably. But at this point I wouldn’t be against driving thirty or forty minutes away. Or even just moving. I’m going to have to expand my job search somehow. Whether that’s applying to more districts, or, I don’t know, going back to school.”
“Do you think you might do that? Go back to school?”
“Maybe,” Elana shrugged. “Get another credential. Special Ed., or counseling or something. Whatever it takes. Being a teacher has been my dream for as long as I can remember.” She shrugged again and Anne smiled back. The clock on the wall of the teacher’s lounge was showing 1:15. Time to go. She gathered up her stuff and Anne did the same.
“Well, it was great to meet you, Elana,” Anne smiled as she picked up her bag. “Best of luck, whatever you decide.”
“Thanks, it was nice to meet you too.”
Anne stopped just as she reached the door and turned around once more. “Oh, Elana? You are a teacher. Whatever happens out there, with the job search. You’ve got the credential and you’ve got the passion. That makes you a teacher in my book. Don’t forget it.”
She never would have expected it, but standing there, preparing to finish another day of teaching a classroom of kids she may not get to see again, and hearing that kind encouragement from a woman she barely knew, Elana could feel tears spring to her eyes. It was all she could do to give a thankful nod.
If Anne noticed, she gave no indication. She just propped open the door cheerfully.
“See you around!” Anne exclaimed, and walked back down the hallway.
Elana stood speechless for a moment, watching Anne leave. Then she took a deep breath, wiped her eyes and turned back toward her classroom. Would she really see her again? She wasn’t sure, but she certainly hoped so.